A few observations

I'm a teacher - most of you know that. And so whenever I'm out in public, I notice things - how people express themselves, how they are attired, things like that. Well, last week - Friday to be exact - my daughter and I stopped at Dunkin' Donuts for coffee as we were driving to school. There was a line there, as is often the case, so we waited our turn and I started "noticing" what was going on in the store.

This particular place is also a convenience store, so we were at the northern end of the building. There was a young woman, perhaps 21 at the most, in front of us and she was making out a job application. When I initially saw her, I thought I was seeing things. She was wearing a thin, navy hoodie sweatshirt that didn't quite mask her overweight body (and let me add that I am not criticizing her for being overweight; many people these days are, myself included) and which allowed a view of cleavage that left nothing to the imagination. Her hair was frizzy and didn't look like it had been brushed or combed, and her fingernails, while well-done, were jet black. What really got me, though, was what she was wearing along with the revealing hoodie - she was wearing pajama pants, bright red, with Mario from the "Super Mario Brothers" video game series on them. She wore flip flops on her feet, and her toenails were painted to match her fingers.

The worker behind the counter asked her if she wanted to wait to talk to the manager on duty, and the young woman replied "Yeah, I guess I can wait." The young man came to her a couple of minutes later, and asked her about her work history, noting that she had only held two jobs in her working career. Her response was something along the lines of, "Yeah, just a coupla jobs. I worked at one for around 5 years and the other one...uh, I think it was a couple months, give or take. Mostly, I just been a full-time mommy," the word "mommy" having been spoken in a sing-song voice, as one would speak to a child.

By this time, my daughter and I had our coffees and bagels so we were able to leave and finish our commute to school. When we got in the car, we looked at each other and said "What the hell...?" and I more or less blew up. I was outraged that someone would have the gall to go and apply for a job dressed like she just fell out of bed (it was 7:15, after all) and on top of that, have such atrocious communication skills.

After a few minutes of ranting, I quieted down and started to think. If I had been the shift manager, I wouldn't have hired her, but I also realized that as an adult in society, I am partly responsible for the way this young woman presented herself. I realized that she must not have had a supportive environment in which to grow up - no shock there, given the state of the American family in the last 30 or so years, but she also didn't get what she needed at school.

Teachers have to do a lot more than just present material for kids to learn. For me, I see my job as being that of not only French teacher, where the kids need to learn grammar, verb conjugations and French culture, but I have a responsibility to be a role model for them by modeling behavior that is appropriate and clothing that is appropriate and tasteful as well. I don't make a whole lot, but I don't think I dress badly at school. I also use correct grammar and I don't curse or speak profanely in front of the kids. When I hear them speak in that way I correct them on it swiftly and decisively. I don't teach them how to dress because that's up to the parents to do, but I have no issue whatever in telling a girl that she is showing too much cleavage or that her skirt is too short. I also have no issue telling a boy that he needs to pull up his pants and tuck in his shirt.

I have occasionally talked with my kids about what eh so-called real world is like and about the importance of taking initiative and responsibility for their actions and their appearance, and they were stunned when I told the boys that shorts down to the crack of their derrieres and tee shirts depicting a dead moose with an inscription of "Got ya sucka!" across the back are not going to open a lot of doors for them. And the girls would see few doors as well when they wore shorts up to the cheeks of their butts, spaghetti strap tops that are 2 sizes too tight and which show cleavage that I would just about KILL to have and makeup that looked like a bricklayer had applied it.

I guess my point is that as teachers, we need to be better role models for the kids we teach. We need to remind these kids that there are proper and improper ways to present themselves - and that not only do they need to dress and speak properly, hygiene is also important. Freshly groomed hair, clean teeth and fresh breath are things that adults take for granted, but somehow that message hasn't gotten to the kids. They deserve to be taught. They need to learn how to value and have some respect for themselves. And while this is tough to teach, we, as teachers, need to model that for them. And who knows, one day it may stick.