I really love these blossoms on the tree. I don't know what they are but I love the color and the vibrancy they bring to a dark, dank skyline. The last several days it has rained and been cold and damp, so when I see images like this, I feel lifted a bit.
The job search does not go at all well, and while I don't plan to elaborate on the frustration of it all, suffice it to say that I have relied on my mantra of "God will take care of us" much more often than I would care to admit. I keep hoping that something will happen to change things but I'm not planning on it. I mean, if things do change so the money is put back into the budget so that I can, in fact, return to my job, I'll be grateful. But I can't sit on my hands waiting for it. I have to move on and so I will.
I am happy to say, though, that I have something to which I can look forward. The hub and I are going on vacation to visit the relatives in the south and I am really looking forward to that. It has been way too long since I've seen them and I feel the need to spend some time with them. At first, I thought it was because they aren't getting any younger and I want to see them while they are still healthy, but it's a lot more than that. They've always been my favorite relatives and I miss them like crazy. I'm already starting to make my infamous lists of clothing and essentials, food for the cooler, things we want to do, etc. so that when we leave after I get out of school we'll be ready to rock and roll. The only thing I regret is that our "Sweet Pea" can't go with us as she has to work. She's going to stay here and care for the doggie and take her own vacation later in the summer. Besides, we celebrated our 25th. wedding anniversary last fall and we had planned to go away for a second honeymoon anyway. This will be the perfect time. We're staying at hotels for part of the time so we'll have plenty of alone time and privacy.
My days of late have been filled with remembering. After spending time with a couple of college mates, I have found myself thinking back to those days and recalling memories I thought I had tucked away long ago. I think of all the hopes and dreams I had and all the growing and growing up I did, and while some of those days were among the most painful of my life (up to that point, at any rate) I see now how massive that experience was for me. Some of it, no doubt, I have yet to realize. But the older I get, the more I see how fragile life really is and how stupid we are for the petty things we allow to get to us at the hands of others. People hurt us and we carry grudges and we will be damned if we will blink first. By God, we will never be the first to apologize or try to make amends. "It's not my fault," we claim - and maybe it isn't. But when people go for years and years without talking or trying to repair what needs repairing, that's a real tragedy. I don't think there's anyone out there who hasn't been hurt and I also believe that there's no one out there who hasn't hurt someone else. That's just a part of life, as distasteful as it seems.
I don't know how I got onto that train of thought - but it doesn't matter. I'll be relieved when the rain stops and I can see my blossoming flowers again...and when I will get to go on vacation!
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